Came to this after a trying day where I woke after frightening dreams, then felt anxieties over possible financial issues after a business email, once again I have not escaped my reaction to this, though I was not dragged down, I was distracted. I felt more able to let it go than previously and able to wait and see what happens without reacting. Adding to this a loved one had a long period of upset, continued over from previous days and I was drawn into that because I wish I could help, also I was trying to help, to be kind, to maybe control though. I have been attempting to do less of that and just let her tears come without having to interfere as much. I was not quite able to see how I can let that worry or attempt to help go, without letting go of the caring and love. Or, I feel that it is possible, but not yet in my reach. I did not yet get to my writing with any depth today, which I was hoping to be able to relax into. After meditation I feel more relaxed and less mentally clouded so I will go back to my writing and let myself create there. Also, regarding the anxieties over finances, I had a feeling that maybe these are somehow linked to a fear of being judged as a failure, a disappointment, that it was not so much to do with a fear of not having money, which has been a sticking point in my mindfulness for a long time, when wondering why I have always been anxious over money issues.
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