Link to meditation, guided by Ajahn Brahm.
Not the revelatory insights of yesterday, but another foray into relaxing yet thinking, punctuated by brief passages of peace where I let go the thoughts; in a very small way began to let go of myself.
I still found the sense that the human existence here is just part of a complete existence beyond time and physicality, but I did not pursue it, just let that feeling arrive and leave: the guidance to not ponder during meditation being in my mind, and allowing me to let go of pondering after a while, but not immediately.
There was a moment when I felt that my journey through wanting, wondering and worrying could be let go for one of joyful contentment; that in fact that was simply my choice at any time, to leave behind a path I have been on and step to a new one.
To reduce the frustration in my inability to take that step I say to myself that I will be able to take it when the time is right, when the step is clearly presented to me as possible. This is a knowing misunderstanding of making the best of what you have, I am waiting to be hit of the head with another gift from the universe, whilst I wallow in my poor choices. I am moving myself a little nearer living a good life with the current passage of time though, I believe.
There is another path there, I may be able to take it sooner, and by choice rather than by having it handed to me. I may be able to let go of my chains and shackles.
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