Link to meditation, guided by Ajahn Brahm.
Came to the meditation with little distraction either physically or mentally, was able to progress in the meditation and find some stillness, my choice was to put 'now' in the center of attention, but by opening up my hearing to all that was happening, to turn my attention outward and keep my thoughts quiet. I was not able to still them throughout the meditation and drifted into thoughts of the future and imaginings of creative ideas I could undertake, thoughts of following whatever connections come, like water flowing downhill to the sea rather than pursuing my own agenda by flooding every channel, effectively applying equal pressure everywhere pressure and seeing which outlet gives. Perhaps this is just another way for wanting to fight for attention?
Certainly it is an egotistical conceit that assumes what I want to pursue is, or will be, of value to others, yet I still behave that way in regard to my creative ideas, always looking to foist them on others in preference to sharing goals – "Hey, you, share my goal, it'll be great, you'll see. Can't you feel it?" I should be able to tap into my mindfulness and see the flaw in that, surely? To share in a goal means it ought best connect personally for those that take it on, or the goal would be less ably fulfilled. There is an ideal by which all involved in a project give it their best, but it is easier accomplished by finding the connection to each persons expressive desire and being able to fulfill it.
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