Link to meditation, guided by Ajahn
Came to the meditation quite relaxed, a little lightheaded as I have been on a liquid only diet for about 36 hrs ahead of a medical procedure later today. I remembered Ajahn Brahm saying that meditation often went better on an empty stomach, but in my case today it was a peaceful but still a fairly shallow meditation. I was able to still the mind and have some times of silence, also there was some time where I had felt my perception expanded to encompass more of the space surrounding me than just the room I sat in - as if I encompassed the outside neighborhood a little, only in the sense that the sounds I heard felt as if they were going on inside of rather than outside of me.
My thoughts were minimal, nothing that grabbed me for long before I let it go, I had the thought to use the sedation I'll be under later to take me into a deep meditation but I doubt very much my mindfulness is strong enough to let me stay aware to even keep that in mind once the plunger is pushed. Will write later if I do experience anything like the deeper meditation stages Ajahn Brahm describes.
So, I feel relaxed. Once again when asked how many layers into the lotus we went I immediately thought, "None," that the lotus was closed but inside it was aware of possibilities for deep peace, like something inside me was keeping a secret, but a secret that warms me, saying "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, I'll let you in when you're ready, don't worry."
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