Link to meditation, guided by Ajahn Brahm
Came to the meditation quite relaxed, both physically and mentally. Was able to settle into a comfortable posture and let the body go, but quickly found I was not listening to the guidance and was pursuing thoughts all to do with wanting - career, material comfort, contentment - and ways of taking certain steps to advance projects; it was not the mentality of "this is good enough." In short, I was not meditating, just sitting thinking, albeit in a calm, relaxed manner.
At least I was mindful of this at times, so looked to let go of the thinking and put my attention on the present moment, yet I also had the notion in mind that 'in the present moment I am lost in thought'. I know that stretches the amount of time a moment is given as far as guidance in these meditations has discussed – that there is no time for thought in the moment of 'now'. Anyway, I found that my will, my desires were over-balancing my mindfulness and peacefulness, and so it was a shallow meditation, though again, as on other days this has happened recently, I feel quite alert, so it has taken me away from sleepiness, which was more present when I began the meditation.
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