Link to meditation, guided by Bhante Sujato
Came to the meditation quite relaxed, physically some pain but not a strong hinderance, during the meditation the pain lessened as I relaxed into my posture and adjusted it through the course of the meditation.
There is a conflict set up in me by metta that puzzles and prevents connecting with loving kindness as I start each metta meditation. Elsewhere in meditation practice we are guided to let go of all wanting and in metta we are guided to wish happiness for all things. This obvious wanting, for love, to give love is unresolved unless I find guidance to connect metta meditation to all othe practice.
My choice during metta meditation therefore is to let the contradiction go and let the meditation take me where it does. Today I find I felt relaxed and more focussed and "solid" by the end of it than at the start, I have no connection to the warmth of loving kindness inside of me that the guidance asks us to notice, but I feel some peace and that is what I feel I send out to all things during the stage of metta where we wish happiness for all beings.
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