Link to meditation, guided by Ajahn Brahm (11/01/14)
Came to it with minimal physical distraction and was not unduly disturbed by discomfort in my body, but a slightly higher sitting position created pins and needles in a leg repeatedly which meant I chose to adjust my position a couple of times. However, the main realization I had during this meditation is that I was not able to follow even the most basic instruction for more than a few moments before being distracted by thoughts meandering toward wanting, or past and future considerations. So I have not made any progress, beyond noticing that. In remembering occasionally to bring my focus of attention to 'now' I mostly was aware of not having focus in the rest of the meditation. I was waiting for the mediation to end so I could leave the disappointment of not following instruction behind and get to writing this reflection, so in that too – the 'monkey mind' – I was aware of a wasted opportunity for peace. At least my mindfulness gives me those insights and my frustrations have one level of cause available for me to reflect on. Though not a deep level of insight, it is some progress on having no mindfulness.
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