Link to meditation, guided by Ajahn Brahm.
Came to the meditation quite relaxed, some thoughts on a medical procedure tomorrow but minimally distracting, physically pretty good with only a minor discomfort. During the meditation I was able to let go of the body a little, not completely, finding I was shifting posture every now and again to be comfortable and relieve aches or irritation from the posture I was in, so this made it difficult to go any deeper, yet there were peaceful moments when I felt my mind still and these were/are almost always linked with relaxing the muscles around the eyes and in my brow. When that happens I feel much
'lighter' physically and more relaxed overall.
Often then I notice colors and lights behind the eyes, but I believe these are almost certainly just the senses of light through the closed eyelids and not nimmita's. Perhaps they preview nimmita a little in the sense that my mind is relaxing? Anyhow, as the meditation progress I went no deeper than this and as the time came to reflect on how far into the lotus I had gone, the image that popped into my mind was of a closed lotus with only the very smallest opening at its top as if the sun was able to warm the inside a little and provide a glimpse of wonderful peace to come, to wake up my inside and say "this is here," yet the petals are closed, I have not yet even let go of the body.
I don't find this at all distracting, if anything it amuses me to visualize that as my progress – that I could feel good and yet have gone almost nowhere, barely scratching the surface of peace, not opening my heart to kindness, but at least being aware that I have a journey to take, when I learn to let go and be kind at each step by simply doing it and not considering before or on the way.
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