Link to meditation, guided by Ajahn Brahm.
Came fairly peacefully, with minor physical hindrances, through the meditation I again forgot about the lotus and drifted into resolving things that I cannot resolve, such as the pain in my side, though I was letting it be somewhat, and the future, which I was seeing and thinking about but not obsessively, I realize that what I see is projection and not to be worried over. Still, I did drift there, giving my ego its wanting fulfillment, where I help great numbers of people to be happier, trying at least to include myself now. This is such a deep, long desire that to let go of it would be a great burden removed. It can be, but only by doing, I believe, more of a zen idea, perhaps, where work removes desire. Perhaps I will find the way by 'not doing'?
The current thoughts were of letting homeless people know they are worth as much if not more than those wrapped up in material gain and self aggrandizement, somehow this again made it seem a criticism of the very charities that offer support, since those charities are predicated on the homeless attaining status, when status is the burden that devalues them. They are free: if they would be fed, they have a life desired by some of the holiest men in the world, the secret is to be happy with it and to exist outside of the judgement greed lays on you, you are not needy if you accept and do not need, you only need if you want more than you have.
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