Link to the meditation, guided by Ajahn Brahm.
This was a deeper meditation, after letting go the body significantly and recognizing thoughts conspiring to take me into the low level drift, I had a feeling that I was pursuing status, the spiritual materialism as well as the physical, to be considered as a valued person in the world by many other other people.
Such an attitude hinders me from taking small steps to improve my meditation. I am not in a position to attain enlightenment if I believe enlightenment is for personal gain and public acknowledgment.
I am barely in a position to stop my thoughts, yet today in the meditation, after looking at what I was wanting (status) I did find some clarity and silence in my mind, I did feel that to be kind and to be mindful could help in all situations, yes, there were distractions that came with some thoughts I could pursue and ponder, but I did not, I let them go and had a little while just being in a peaceful and clear state, I felt quite light mentally, that there was some space to enjoy without the clamor to be some other way.
The idea to stop and consider (use wisdom, such as it is) why thoughts are coming up in the midst of meditation, came from suggestions by various minks who take the meditations I follow.
The end of the meditation brought a feeling more akin to having done something constructive.
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